Joe, My Autistic Dog

When the veteranarian told me that my 3-year-old lab/Akita mutt was likely autistic, I was stunned. Sure he was a strange dog, who seemed to lack the most basic canine instincts and behaviors.....but autistic? Out of all the dogs I could have chosen when I went to the animal shelter to pick out a puppy, it scarcely seemed possible that I picked an autistic dog.

This was not my first experience with autism: twelve years earlier I was inducted into the autistic world when my first son, Stephen, was born (to read more about him click on http://abductedbyaspergers.blogspot.com/ ). Stephen was six years old when his quirky and unusual traits were given a diagnostic explanation: Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism. What are the chances that I actually picked a dog afflicted with a similar disorder?

Joe, 5 months, and me

I had taken my dog, Joe, to the vet that day for shots. After the doctor spent a few minutes with us, he asked if he could take Joe into another room for further evaluation. About 20 minutes later he returned with Joe and gave me his diagnosis.

Joe was peculiar from the day I brought him home. He was terrified of everyone and everything. He never looked anyone directly in the eyes and was very uncomfortable being physically close to people. When someone would reach to pet Joe, he quickly moved away, fearing a hand coming near his head. He didn't lick people and was not territorial with food or toys like most dogs. Initially I thought that Joe had been abused as a puppy, but then decided the foster families they used at the animal shelter were probably screened better than foster families for DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services).

 

Hayden, Joe, me and Stephen

Joe's diagnosis finally elucidated why he didn't behave like a normal dog and it helped me recognize his limitations. I realize that our 50 pound canine is terrified of creatures a mere fraction of his size and he will never be a deterent to pests that dig in my flower beds and eat my vegetable garden. Squirrels taunt Joe by running around the base of our large trees while he chases them in vain. The neighbor's small cat has no respect for our dog - after Joe ran up to her in our yard, she stood her ground unfazed and eventually turned her back and casually walked away. More recently, Joe was traumatized when a small yellow finch attacked him in the yard and he was afraid to leave the house for days.

Despite the daily challenges of raising an autistic dog, there are a few sweet victories. A month ago my dad sent a rawhide bone for Joe. The first week he didn't go near it. By the second week he sniffed it occasionally. The following week he actually held it gently in his mouth a few times. Then yesterday when one of my sons arrived home, Joe actually greeted him at the front door with the bone in his mouth.

It is the fleeting moments when Joe's autism is briefly overidden by his basic canine instincts, that give me hope that Joe can live a fulfilling dog's life despite his disability.

The Extended Mormon Family

In a society where families are often scattered in diverse places, having a network of local support can be crucial especially during challenging times.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have access to an extensive Church family that is able and willing to help when trials arise. The combination of Mormon doctrine emphasizing love, charity and service, coupled with the Church's highly organized structure, provides the framework for a large church family that blankets the globe.

Falling down the stairs and breaking my foot three weeks ago reminded me how fortunate I am to have this extended Mormon family. News of my accident traveled quickly to members of my local ward (congregation) and I received offers of help even before I left the emergency room. One woman whose three young children were scheduled to take naps, didn't hesitate to pile her kids in the minivan to drive me home from the hospital. Later that day, she delivered a meal for my hungry family. That evening another ward member called to organize meals to be brought in for the next few weeks, since I would be unable to put weight on my foot. In addition to the meals, I have also been the recipient of numerous acts of service; one woman drove me to a doctor's appointment, another brought bottles of water and snacks to keep near my bed so I would have something to eat and drink during the day when no one was home. Another woman came over to help me finish a sewing project. Two women came to vacuum and dust my house. Another woman brought me treats for an urgent sugar craving and also brought me lunch. Many others have offered to run errands, do laundry, clean bathrooms or take care of any other needs.


Recovered from the accident


This is not the first time I have been embraced by my Mormon family during a time of need. Fifteen years ago, my two young boys and I were in a serious head-on collision which left me with a broken pelvis. I was living in southeast Louisiana at the time and had not attended church for many years. Despite not knowing anyone in my ward, word of my accident travelled quickly and two church elders came to the hospital that evening to give me a blessing of healing. The following morning a woman I had never met offered to care for my 3-year-old and 15-month-old sons until I was discharged from the hospital. Several people brought me magazines and personal hygiene items. When I returned home, meals were delivered and child care provided until I could resume my normal activities.

These examples of loving service are not unusual or extraordinary in LDS circles. Each family in the ward is assigned two male "home teachers" who visit monthly to deliver a short message and assess any needs the family might have. The home teachers can then coordinate any assistance needed for the family. Additionally, each woman in the ward is assigned two female "visiting teachers" who visit monthly with an uplifting message, provide fellowship and uncover needs. The home and visiting teaching programs are invaluable in keeping the bishop informed of members needs.


Me, Dad, Kym and Heather


While my family is being cared for by our ward family in Kansas, it's comforting to know that my father and siblings have access to the same Mormon family in the various places they live. My 75-year-old father, who lives in New York, was widowed almost eight years ago. Although Dad still works full time and is active and capable,he has many people in his ward who watch over him. When Dad does not have any kids home for the holidays, he receives invitations to join other families in his ward. Last spring one family offered to spruce up his landscaping and help maintain the yard through the summer. During severe winter weather, ward members check to make sure Dad has power and can can get out of his driveway.


Nate's family


My brother's family also benefits by the extended Mormon family. When Nate drove a moving truck from Phoenix to a Washington DC suburb with his wife, four young children and a dog, there was a group of ward members ready to unload the truck and help his family get settled. Now that my sister-in-law is ready to give birth to their fifth child, their ward family will help with childcare and provide meals when needed.


Kym hiking Mt Fiji

The Mormon family web extends far beyond US borders. My older sister, Kym, and her husband moved to Tokyo, Japan last January and have been welcomed by their ward members in their new home. They travel frequently throughout Asia and always have access to local ward members if help is needed.


Heather and her family in Shanghai



My younger sister, Heather, and her family have lived abroad in Mexico, Canada, Hungary and recently moved to Shanghai, China. In each location, Heather's family has had a network of ward members who have welcomed them and provided an instant support network.



In a world where distance separates many families, it's comforting to have an extensive Mormon family regardless of where our travels may take us.